Learn the bible with Fanny Magnet

Discussion in 'Off Topic Lounge' started by Fanny Magnet, Dec 26, 2016.

  1. Fanny Magnet
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    My ministerial duties have been sadly lacking in recent months but all that is about to change.

    Tomorrow a full recap of where we are now then from Monday I'm going to go straight through the bible.

    Sorry I haven't been well and have had to move flat. My bible studies have continued but they have been private bible studies.
     
  2. Fanny Magnet
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    Sorry I have been ill for the last 2 months or so, but I haven't forgot this thread hopefully this week I'll be back for a daily update as I'm feeling a bit better.
     
  3. Fanny Magnet
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    Right i'm back. hopefully to update this thread daily, I won't be on other threads (other than displaying my love for Jeremy Corbyn) because I have no money for my PlayStation Vita and I haven't bought a game in 5 months and have lost (can't afford) WI-FI so can't do online games and such can't really even connect to the PlayStation store (it's a struggle). I still play it a bit, but unfortunately I have no money for games.

    So we've largely covered Genesis and Exodus and will be moving into Leviticus, I will recap on Genesis and Exodus tomorrow then move into Leviticus.

    But today to ease myself into this thread (again) i'd like to talk about repentance!, sort of in isolation (a bit like I talked about masturbation in isolation).

    Well have you heard about the saying 'it's a personal thing', well that's what's people say about repentance!.

    Obviously when you commit a sin, you must repent, it's a sort of way of getting yourself back in the 'good books' with God. To repent is to turn from evil to good.

    But how do turn from evil to good, well again people say 'it's a personal thing', but what does that mean exactly?, everything to greater or lesser extent is a personal thing, sex and money (the two main drivers to life) are in many respects personal things!.

    Well let's of course start with the Bible, you see the Bible talks alot about repentance, but unfortunately uses the word repent, without really defining it.

    Luke 17:3-4 poses a particular problem and states:

    'So watch yourselves "If your brother sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times a day and seven times they come back saying 'I repent', you must forgive them"'

    Obviously the problem with this piece of scripture, is you can effectively sin seven times a day and then just say 'I repent', the sort of person on the 'receiving end' must then forgive them (more likely than not a 'christian'), potentially seven times a day.

    There are many other lines of scripture that really just point to repentance being as easy as saying 'I repent'. The worst demands any scripture I could find placed on a person is to feel 'sorrowful' or 'turning to God' but what does that mean?, i'm sorrowful for many things I've done, none of them we're grievous sins or crimes and what is turning to God, many people turn to God in many different ways?.

    I went through all this scripture and thought, well actually i'm aware of the term repentance and the scripture but can I find a perhaps better definition of what exactly repentance is, I can't just pass it off as 'a personal thing', because it's a cop out, i'll end up passing off everything as a personal thing and then there's no point in reading or preaching the Bible. In terms of Luke 17:3-4, well if I just bring that up, well if you practically applied it, the world would probably fully of serial thieves and rapists just running around saying 'I repent' seven times a day.

    Obviously the 'law' would put a stop to this sort of thing, but remember to a Jehovah's Witness the law, well we're law abiding citizens (at least most), but don't really 'recognise' the law, for example a member of Police force is not allowed to sit in a Kingdom Hall, they can enter to arrest someone, but an off duty police officer cannot sit in the congregation or be a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses. So I can't throw things back on the law, if a crime is committed against me I would be very hesitant against calling the police, technically I shouldn't even vote (but i'm naughty).

    So I trawled the internet (not the Bible), for a 'better' more practical definition of repentance and although I tried to avoid it, spent 2 hours and ended up on Wikipedia.

    Wikipedia states........

    'This typically includes an admission of guilt, a promise or resolve not to repeat the offense; an attempt to make restitution for the wrong, or in some way to reverse the harmful effects of the wrong where possible.'

    and that is essentially repentance. In terms of the bible, you essentially just have to say 'I repent'. A more 'workable' definition you have to admit to your guilt, resolve to not repeat the offense (the bible doesn't require this don't forget seven times a day) and must in some ways make restitution or reverse the harmful effects of the wrong.

    No scripture of the day you've got Luke 17:3-4.

    Tomorrow a little recap on Genesis and Exodus (sort of reminder) and we launch into Leviticus and I can cover Leviticus in 2 days, so easy peasy.
     
  4. Fanny Magnet
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    Let's do a quick recap......

    Genesis

    God created things, made Adam and Eve who had a bit of a fallout with the dodgy apple from the Tree of Knowledge, got kicked out of the Garden and Eden, had two Sons Cain and Abel, Cain twats Abel one, packed off to the land of Nod, everyone's shagging about and up to no good, God floods the earth to end all the evil, saves Noah, everyone's shagging about again, build the Tower of Babel, to reach to the heavens, Gods pissed, disperses them and makes them talk in a funny language, nations are being formed. Abraham is born, the sort of grandfather to the nation of Israel, meanwhile there's sodomy in Sodom and Gomorrah, Jacob is born, the son of Isaac, who is the son of Abraham, Jacob via a dream (Jacobs Ladder) is gifted the nation (land) of Israel and settles there, has twelve sons (who form the twelve tribes of Israel), Joseph is one, Joseph has dreams and a technicolor dreamcoat to match, Joseph is packed off to Egypt from Israel by his brothers, saves the nation of Israel from famine via his ability to interpret dreams (the Pharaohs) and becomes a great man in Egypt. Not only saves Egypt from famine but Israel as everyone (including his family) in Israel effectively flocks to Egypt during the famine.

    Exodus

    The Israelites (many in Egypt) start to become a great nation in number, although many living in Egypt, population about 600,000, Joseph influence in Egypt is no longer there, the Pharaoh decides to subdue the nation of Israel, becoming too great, kills the newborns, but Moses is saved, the nation of Israel is then effectively enslaved, Moses is called in by God to save the nation of Israel (from Egypt), God sends in plagues to force Pharaoh to let the Israelites go, he lets them go, the Israelites on leaving Egypt, cross (part) the Red Sea and after around 50 days (which a little help from God) on there way back to Israel, end up in the Sinai Desert. Moses has a run in with God at Mount Sinai and the ten commandments are given to Moses. Then a tent (a Tabernacle) is built at the foot of Mount Sinai where Moses and Israelites meet and worship to God and make offerings to him. So Exodus ends with Moses and the Israelites after receiving the Ten Commandments sort of in a tent with God.

    Now were into Leviticus.........

    Exodus as I stated ended with the Tabernacle, well Leviticus starts with the Tabernacle, that's the strange thing with the Bible, the creation of the earth is covered in a couple of chapters, this bloody Tabernacle well it covers the end of Exodus and the start of Leviticus and for about 20 chapters, the Bible it goes on about this bloody Tabernacle and well it's a tent where God, Moses and the Israelites meet at the foot (initially the tent is then moved) of Mount Sinai, but not a lot really initially happens with this tent (tabernacle), it houses the Ark of the covenant (which brought the ten commandments down from Mount Sinai), God meets his people there, but not a lot really happens, it's all how the Tabernacle should be furnished and how animal sacrifices should be done, stuff like that. But it has no relevance today.

    Its the second half of Leviticus where things get interesting, because as you know i'm a Jehovah's Witness and you'll know 'the blood transfusion' thing, well this partly comes from Leviticus and also the 'churches' position on homosexuality (ignoring Sodom and Gomorrah) is partly determined by Leviticus. Because in the second half of Leviticus we get into Gods instructions on certain say 'moral codes' while present in the Tabernacle with Moses and the Israelites at the foot of Mount Sinai. That's what i'll discuss tomorrow, blood and homosexuality.

    Scripture of the day.........

    Leviticus 18:19 'Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period'

    and this is the sort of thing that God talked about in the Tabernacle......

    I'd like to leave you spiritually enlightened with my brothers and sisters, a most beautiful hymm (and the girl third from the front right has some hips on her)....

     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2017
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  5. Fanny Magnet
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    Right we're into the second half of Leviticus (3 rd book of the Bible)

    This is where God opened his Gob in the Tabernacle (a tent) at the foot of Mount Sinai, remember in the last half of Exodus and the first Leviticus it was all furnishings for the Tabernacle and rituals and stuff like that which have no relevance today, remember today we have a modern 'church'. Remember the ten commandments come from Exodus, in Leviticus, in the Tabernacle at the foot of Mount Sinai, with the people of Israel, God sort of drilled down into the detail a little more.

    Right Blood....

    Leviticus states.......

    Leviticus 17:11 'For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and I have given it for you on the alter to make atonement for your souls, for it the blood that makes atonement by life'

    Leviticus 17:14 'For the life of the creature is its blood, it's blood is it's life. Therefore I have said to the people of Israel, You shall not eat the blood of any creature, for the life of every creature is it's blood. Whoever eats it shall be cut off.'t

    Leviticus 7:27 'Whoever eats any blood, that person shall be cut off from his people.'

    The Bible makes a number of other references to blood, for example in Genesis, but it is principally Leviticus where Jehovah's Witnesses 'stance' in relation to blood transfusions comes from. My personal position is that if push comes to shove I will take a blood transfusion, in fact many Jehovah's Witnesses would (let's be honest here), my personal opinion is that the scripture relates to animals, not a modern medical 'thing' like blood transfusions and that's the thing with the Bible you have to realise it was written something like 2000 -3000 years ago, you have to put in at least some kind of historical context. i'm 90% vegetarian, so I can assure you many Jehovah's Witnesses are consuming far more blood than me on a daily basis with there juicy steaks and the likes.

    Now Homosexuality.....

    Now i'm on dodgy ground.......

    Firstly, i'm not homophobic, but I can't condone Homosexuality at a scriptural level, it's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah (fire and brimstone) and from Leviticus where the 'church' principally takes it's stance on Homosexuality........

    Leviticus 18:22 'You shall not lie with a male as with a woman, it is an abomination'

    Levitcus 20:13 'If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.'

    I'm going to leave it there, but you can see with that type of scripture knocking why the church has to take some 'stance' on homosexuality.

    Now of course in Leviticus (at least the second half) God doesn't just talk about (give effective laws) on just blood and homosexuality for example in Levitcus 20:10 it states 'If a man commits adultery with another man's wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.' but in terms of relevance to at least me 'blood and homosexuality' are the two issues that spring to mind and it's difficult with Leviticus because some of things it forbids, well it just starts to get a bit ridiculous, especially in a modern day age.

    No scripture of the day as I've been scripture heavy today...

    Tomorrow i'll talk a little about Jesus (in isolation) then onto Numbers (the fourth book of the bible)............

     
  6. Fanny Magnet
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    You've seen the film (Jesus of Nazareth)...........You've got an item of gold jewellery with him nailed to the cross around your neck...........on a date that wasn't most likely his birthday you've stuck a pine tree up with a fairy on top............to 'celebrate' his death you've bought a chocolate egg with snickers bar or something inside............more confirmed 'christians' amongst you might have had a hot cross bun, lightly toasted with a nob of butter or something.

    Now be prepared to be amazed, because we've going to get into the relevance and teachings of Jesus. The good news is i'm not going to ask you to turn at the harvest festival or whatever with bloody can of processed peas or something.

    At the moment we've reading from the Old Testament, in fact we're 3 books through the old testament (the old testament has 39 books) and we're in fact studying the 'old' Mosaic laws. What's the Mosaic laws I here you say?, whats the crack here?, well the first 5 books of the bible are called the 'old' Mosaic laws, effectively the 'law' passed down by God through Moses (hence Mosaic) and largely starting with the Ten commandments in Exodus (the second book of Bible), then 'drilled' down into in Leviticus (which we've just been through) and then Deuteronomy (the fifth book of the bible), Numbers the fourth book of the bible which will I cover next, well it's more of a journey to the promised land and I cover that in a day, because it's largely just journey from Mount Sinai to approaching Israel (the promised land). Genesis the first book of the Bible more a story of creation and the initial establishment of the nation of Israel.

    By the way if you're wandering well there a 39 books in the old testament, 5 contain the 'old' mosaic laws, what do the other 34 contain?, well 12 books are Historical, 5 books are poetic and 17 books Prophetic. But we'll come onto them, many of these books aren't that relevant in todays terms, many of these books I can cover in a day, some might take me 3 days, but many of the books you just need a general knowledge of because there relevance 'today', well they don't have a lot of relevance.

    The thing is with the 'old' mosaic laws are many of them still are many of them still relevant?, ESPECIALLY when Jesus showed up in the new testament?. I don't intend to start talking about Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey today, that's the first 4 'gospels' in the New Testament, we're 60% through the 'old' Mosiac laws, but are they relevant especially when Jesus turned up (in the new testament).

    The best I can say is this (and it's a copy and paste jobby from elsewhere) - Jesus saw the Old Testament as being God’s Word, and his attitude toward it was nothing less than total trust. Many people want to accept Jesus, yet they reject a large portion of the Old Testament. Either Jesus knew what he was talking about, or he didn’t. If a person believes in Jesus Christ, he should be consistent and believe that the Old Testament and its accounts are correct.

    However many people hold this point of view (or words to this effect)......

    Jesus said the old law would remain until all things were fulfilled. He fulfilled all things. The old law passed away. The new covenant, governed by the church, and empowered by God's sanctifying grace, took over.

    You pays your money................

    If ever I preach the 'Old Testament' and I do quite a lot in fact, principally in relation to (from) the book of proverbs (not as such the 'old' mosaic law), because the book of proverbs is great and it contains 'words of wisdom', or 'rules of life' and is very, very good in that you can still apply it today. The thing is immediately if I do 'i'm in fear' of anyone who 'knows' his bible coming along and saying 'but that's from the Old Testament', then it's bloody Jesus on Donkey and the likes.....

    Scripture of the day, its the classic Jesus teaching regarding the camel:

    Matthew 19;24 'Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'



    Tomorrow.................Your numbers up.
     
  7. Fanny Magnet
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    Numbers…………..

    Right we’re into the fourth book of the bible, the fourth of five of ‘the Law’, or ‘the Torah’, or the ‘Pentateuch’, so if you hear of the ‘the Law’/’the Torah’/’Pentateuch’ referenced about the Bible think that’s the first five books of Bible as written by Moses.

    Let’s do a timeline here……

    Exodus effectively leads into God’s people (the Israelites) effectively (through Moses and the plagues brought down by God on the Pharaoh) leaving Egypt, where they were enslaved for 400 years, they free themselves from Egypt (on the date called the Passover), cross the red sea, wonder around the desert of Sin then arrive in the Sinai Desert then ultimately at Mount Sinai (where God gives Moses the ten commandments), this journey across the Red Sea, through the desert of Sin to Mount Sinai (in the Sinai Desert) is relatively short, about 50 days, then Moses goes up mount Sinai twice (remember the ten commandments were delivered twice) for about 80 days (40 days each time), then Exodus finishes with the building of the Tabernacle and its furnishings and rituals at the foot of Mount Sinai, Leviticus starts with (again) the furnishing and rituals in relation to the Tabernacle (sort of an early church where God meets Moses and his people (the Israelites)). Then God in the Tabernacle starts to ‘drill down’ in the second half of Leviticus on the Ten Commandments and effectively lays down more laws in the second half of Leviticus (sometimes these laws are called the ‘covenants’). Time spent messing about in the Tabernacle (furnishings, rituals and laws) about a year.

    So 50 days to leave Egypt and get to Mount Sinai, 80 days messing about with the ten commandments at Mount Sinai, approximately a year in the Tabernacle at the foot of Mount Sinai (sort of camped out).

    We now get into numbers, God, the Tabernacle (with the Ark of the covenant), Moses and the Israelites are now on the move, back to Israel, they’ve covered approx.. half the journey established much of the law which governs the Israelites (and it’s took them approx. a year and three months), they’ve now got to cover the remainder of the journey (the remaining half) and get back to the promised land (the land bequeathed by God to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the sort of founding fathers to nation of Israel in Genesis). Remember the nation of Israel who are on this journey are essentially made up of the ‘twelve tribes of Israel’ being made up from the descendants of the twelve sons of Jacob. In many respects they are still in Egypt, but in the desert and wilderness of the east of Egypt (sort of tribal area). Events take place about 1500 BC.

    Numbers covers 40 years, so half the journey to Israel covered a year and three months, the remaining half the journey (in Numbers), covers over 40 years and we’ll see why?. Why numbers?, well at the start of numbers there is a census and the effective adult population of the Israelites is numbered (the population is in excess of 600,000 to give you approximate size), but really ‘numbers’ means ‘in the wilderness’ or ‘in the desert’.

    So why 40 years for the remaining half of the journey?. Remember this journey should only take about 2 weeks. Well here goes (I’ll try to keep it brief)………

    Well effectively the Israelites move out of from Mount Sinai, through the wilderness of Zin to Paran and the Israelites start whinging, whinge, whinge, whinge, on this journey to Paran ‘we want to go back to Egypt’ they say, well Gods pissed and kills 15,000 of them.

    Well then Moses sends spies into Canaan to the east through Moab (across the river Jordan) to see the way the land lies in Israel (don’t forget the Israelites have just spent over 400 years in Egypt) from Paran and the spies (well most of them) return back and say ‘well all hells breaking loose in Canaan’, well the Israelites start whinging again, whinge, whinge, whinge, we’re not going into Canaan (effectively Israel) all hell’s breaking loose in there they say, well God’s pissed again, no one’s prepared to return to the promised land (the land he bequeathed to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob), right he says you can go fuck off to the desert for 40 years, go fuck off to the desert for 40 years and I’ll deal with your descendants (so he effectively resigns the Israelites to death in the desert for 40 years, number about 600,000 and is only prepared to deal with their descendants).

    Even Moses throws a wobbly…….

    “Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, ‘Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me [proclaim my name holy] in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.’ ” (Numbers 20:12)

    What did Moses do I hear you say?, what did Moses exactly do that effectively God resigned him to death for?, well it all kicked off in the desert of Zin, before they got to Paran. God told Moses to speak to a rock (in the desert of Zin) and water would come out, for whatever reason, Moses struck the rock instead. Water still came out, but because of his defiance, Moses would not be allowed into the Canaan Land (Israel). So Moses got resigned to death because hit a rock instead of speaking to it (as God requested) I hear you say?, don’t piss off God!, do as he tells you!.

    Well then they (or their descendants) with Moses approach Moab and the promised land (after 40 years in the desert). Moab is on the border of Canaan (effectively Israel) the only thing dividing Moab from Canaan (effectively Israel) is the river Jordan. That’s where the book of numbers ends and the book of Deuteronomy begins on the plains of Moab, with Canaan (effectively Israel) just across the river Jordan with the Israelites (or their descendants) and Moses after 40 years in the wilderness, because they wouldn’t (initially) journey to Israel when spies were sent in there from Paran.

    There’s a bit more to book of numbers but that’s the highlights (more things happen), I’m actually a bit sketchy on Numbers, but that’s the gist of it, I don’t want to get bogged down in a book of the bible which is essentially just a journey (well half a journey) from Egypt (well Mount Sinai) to the promised land with a bit of rebellion thrown in by the Israelites, there are no laws effectively here (unlike Exodus, Leviticus and the soon to come Deuteronomy). The book of Numbers reveals how God reminded Israel that he does not tolerate rebellion, complaining, and disbelief without invoking consequences.

    No scripture of the day, you’ve got Numbers 20:12 (the beginning of the end of Moses)



    Tomorrow …………… Deuteronomy
     
  8. Fanny Magnet
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    Well Deuteronomy………

    Well a quick recap we are on the plains of Moab (bordering the Promised land with just the river Jordan dividing them), Moses with the Israelites, or more effectively the descendants of the Israelites who first left Egypt over 40 years ago because the Israelites (who left Egypt) spent 40 years wandering the desert because of rebellion against God, because they wouldn’t initially enter the promised land (Israel), remember bad reports coming out the spies they sent in there from Paran (in wastelands of eastern Egypt, tribal area).

    So what’s Deuteronomy about, well it’s Moses last hurrahhhh (or Torahhhhh), it’s three sermons or speaches given by Moses to the people of Israel before they enter the promised land. Deuteronomy means "second law." because it repeats and inculcates the laws formerly given at Mount Sinai, with other laws not expressed before. So we effectively have two stages of given laws in the Torah (the first five books of the Bible written by Moses, sometimes simply known as ‘the Law’), the ten commandments given at Mount Sanai in Exodus and laws given in the Tabernacle with God present in Leviticus (again at Mount Sinai), then the “second law” (to those at Mount Sinai) given in Deuteronomy on the plains of Moab (before the Israelites enter Israel).

    Right let’s get into the first sermon Moses gave (on the plains of Moab), this recaps the forty years in the wilderness they’ve just gone through. Highlighting their rebellion, or more importantly their parent’s rebellion, because remember Moses is now principally addressing the children of the Israelites that wandered the desert for 40 years (in numbers) and initially left Egypt (in Exodus). He challenges them to be different from their parents and repeats the Ten Commandments.

    The second sermon Moses gives the second laws (the Deuteronomy) and repeats the first laws (given at the Mount Sinai) in Leviticus. It’s essentially that simple.

    The third sermon, well Moses gives a warning and ultimatum, if Israel listens to their God, all will be fine. If they don’t famine, plague and ultimately exile from the land. Moses then forces a decision, to choose life by loving God and listening to him. But Moses has been with these people for decades and admits (acknowledges) the people will ultimately rebel and turn away from God and ultimately go into exile after he dies. Then offers them hope, one day when in exile he states they can always turn back and choose God.

    At the end of Deuteronomy, Joshua is installed , as Moses's successor and Moses ascends Mount Nebo (in the plains of Moab), where he dies and is buried by God (remember Moses never makes it to the promised land, because in numbers Moses throws a wobbly, God said as a result he would never enter the promised land). The narrative of these events is interrupted by two poems, the Song of Moses and the Blessing of Moses.

    This is where Deuteronomy and in fact ‘the Torah’/’The Pentateuch’/’The Law’ ends.

    Again there is a question mark whether the ‘old Mosaic Laws’ as they are known have any relevance in light of the coming of Jesus. I’ve (partially) covered this area in isolation. Don’t forget the ‘old testament’ points to the coming of Jesus and as we move through the ‘old testament’ you’ll see there are a number of ‘pointers’ to the coming of Jesus as we go through the ‘old testament’. But not necessarily in ‘the Torah’ (the first five books in the Bible).

    Another way to look at it is (ignoring Jesus), the ‘old’ mosaic laws (effectively the ‘Torah’) can be split into three different categories, kingdom laws, for the Kingdom of Israel, well really the ‘old’ kingdom of Israel doesn’t really exist today, so those laws fall away, replaced by more modern laws, speed limits on the roads for example, then there are temple laws (rituals), well we don’t have temples anymore, they fell away about 70AD, so the last half of Exodus and first half Leviticus relating to the Tabernacle and the old temples (effectively temple laws have gone), that just leaves laws for all times and places, it’s just whether you shouldn’t eat things like pork (Deuteronomy 14:8) or though shall not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together (Deuteronomy 22:11) is a law for all times and places, before we even get into the dreaded Leviticus 18:22 (you shall not lie with a man as with a woman, it is an abomination).

    Scripture of the day………

    Deuteronomy 6:1 ‘Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the Lord your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it.’



    Tomorrow……………..A recap.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2017
  9. Fanny Magnet
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    A recap…….

    So we’ve come out of the ‘the Torah’ (the first five books of the Bible)

    The Torah consists of the origin of Jewish people: their call into being by God, their trials and tribulations, and their covenant with their God, which involves following a way of life embodied in a set of moral and religious obligations and civil laws.

    The Torah starts from the beginning of God's creating the world, through the beginnings of the people of Israel, their descent into Egypt, and the giving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai. It ends with the death of Moses, just before the people of Israel cross to the promised land of Canaan.

    The way I’d like you think of it at this point is as follows (see if this helps)…..

    Adam and Eve leave the Garden of Eden, effectively into the area around Babylon, everyone shags about, up to no good, God twats them, the flood, back to square one, Noah is saved along with his children, God makes a covenant with Noah never to flood the land again because Noah’s pissed that his Son and Daughter are going to be shagging each other, everyone shags about and lives to be a ripe old, Babylon is essentially established. Meanwhile everyone goes travelling after being dispersed from Babylon following the incident at the Tower of Babel (a tower is built to the Heavens, Gods pissed, packs them off, makes them talk in a funny language). Egypt is established. Everyone is again shagging about.

    Abraham is born (the sort of grandfather to the Nation of Israel) in Babylon, he goes travelling from Babylon to Egypt, reaches Israel (which in some respects is between Egypt and Babylon), he and descendants are given the nation of Israel by God (land between Egypt and Babylon), but he doesn’t do a lot with it, he is given the land of Israel by God (to establish God’s people) but sort travels down to Egypt then comes back to Israel and dies there, Isaac is born (to Abraham) but he doesn’t do a lot. It is Jacob (Isaac’s son) and God (again) gives him land of Israel (Jacobs Ladder) who really establishes the nation of Israel (and Jacobs name is later changed to Israel), Jacob shags about in very early Israel and has twelve sons, very early Israel is established, being the twelve tribes of Israel (headed by Jacobs twelve son), so early Israel is twelve regions made up of the twelve tribes of Israel (headed by Jacobs twelve sons). Everyone shags about.

    One of Jacobs sons, Joseph (he of the technicolour dreamcoat fame), is expelled to Egypt by his eleven brothers. Joseph has a stroke of luck in Egypt, interprets the Pharaoh’s dreams, saves Egypt from famine, is made second ruler of Egypt (behind the Pharaoh). The famine (that hits Egypt), spreads, hits early Israel, the (early) Israelites (the twelve tribes), flood into Egypt (which is plentiful in times of famine thanks to Joseph), stroke of luck, because Joseph is there to meet them and now the second ruler of Egypt so the Israelites (initially) flourish in Egypt, God tells them not to worry when they enter Egypt, he assures them they will one day return to the promised (Israel).

    We come out of Genesis into Exodus, Genesis is a weighty book, takes some going through, other books (in fact the majority) are much less weighty and can be covered quite easily. Genesis don’t forget covers the period from 4000BC to 1800BC, so that’s 2,200 years of ‘history’ according to the Bible right there.

    The Israelites (the twelve tribes) flourish in Egypt (under Joseph), Joseph dies (his influence is no more), A new Pharaoh comes along, thinks right these Israelites I’ve got to twat them one, they’re getting a little bit too big for their boots, kills the new-born but Moses is saved and ends up with the royal family and does quite well for himself, the rest of the nation of Israel are enslaved (In Egypt). The Israelites spend (initially flourishing then enslaved) about 400 years in Egypt. Population after 400 years in Egypt about 600,000.

    Now let’s just stop for a second and think what’s going on in Israel in this 400 year period (when the twelve tribes of Israel are in Egypt), Israel becomes Canaan and populated by the Canaanites. The term Canaanites serves as an ethnic catch-all term covering various indigenous populations, both settled and nomadic groups. The Canaanites not only occupied Israel, but are also prevalent in the surrounding lands. The land (Israel) prospered in the 400 years the Israelites are in Egypt, cities are being established by the Canaanites, in particular Jericho.

    God comes along, sees Moses is doing quite well for himself (he was raised by the royal family while the other Israelites are enslaved), says to Moses, right let’s get my people out of Egypt, I promised them when they entered Egypt one day I would return them to promised land, that day has come. Moses goes to the Pharaoh, says God wants his people out to return to the promised land (he promised them), Pharaoh tells him to fuck off. God says right, releases plagues on Egypt, frogs, diseased livestock and the likes and there’s an out brake of chlamydia. Moses meets with the Pharaoh (a second time) and the Pharaoh says right fuck off, I’ve just been hit in the face by a frog and the wife’s got an unusual discharge from the vagina and doctors just given her a leach for it. Go back to your promised land.

    Moses takes his people (the Israelites) (on the date of the Passover) across the red sea (parts) into the sort of desert and wastlands to the East of Egypt (tribal area), arrives at Mount Sinai, the ten commandments are given, then God, Moses and the Israelites camp at the foot of Mount Sinai, establish the Tabernacle (a sort of tent/temple), where God starts handing out more laws (in addition to the ten commandments) that the nation of Israel will live by. These laws, think of them as either Kingdom laws, that the ‘oncoming’ kingdom of Israel will live by (but obviously the kingdom of Israel has passed) and Temple laws which govern the Tabernacle (don’t forget the Tabernacle then travels around with the Israelites with the Ark of the Covenant leading the way) and the establishment of the early Temples (to God) in Israel.

    Out of Exodus into Leviticus, events in Exodus cover a relatively short period, say about 100 years or so. Difficult to get a ‘fix’ on how long the events in Exodus occurred.

    Leviticus, don’t need dwell in Leviticus, more laws (say Kingdom and Temple), but more towards the end of Leviticus, more laws ‘for all times and places’ (not say Kingdom Laws and Temple Laws which now have had their time and day). Events still taking place in the Tabernacle at the foot of Mount Sinai. Don’t forget the laws in Leviticus (then later Deuteronomy the ‘second laws’ which together form the ‘old’ Mosaic Laws), there’s a question whether any of them have any relevance today, even laws I have classified as ‘for all times and places’, remember in the ‘new testament’ Jesus bursts on the scene. Some people argue the ‘old’ Mosaic Laws (established in Leviticus and then Deuteronomy) are now just being ‘cherry picked’.

    We’re out of Leviticus into Numbers, short time period in Leviticus, say 1 year.

    Numbers were on the move, back to the promised land from Mount Sinai, the Tabernacle (tent) is packed up and moves with them, Moses and Israelites head for the promised land with the Ark of the Covenant leading the way. The Israelites whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge and eventually refuse to go into the promised land (Canaan) (bad reports from spies that have gone in). God is pissed!, resigns around 600,000 Israelites to a slow death in the desert for 40 years, will only then deal with their descendants coming out of the desert.

    We’re out of Numbers into Deuteronomy. Events in Numbers cover a period of 40 years (effectively the time the Israelites spend in the desert/wilderness)

    Deuteronomy or the second law, the Israelites are on the plains of Moab with Canaan (Israel) over the Jordan River, Moses addresses his people for one last time (he is resigned to death in Numbers and is told by God he will never enter the promised land), essentially Moses recaps the last 40 years in the desert and recounts the to the descendants of the Israelites that entered the desert their parents rebellion against God (which led them to be resigned to the desert for 40 years). He gives the second laws and reminds them of the first (given at Mount Sinai). He then then gives them any effective ultimatum, choose God and you will live a long and happy life, rebel against and you will face war, famine and ultimately exile from the land you are going to possess (Israel). Moses dies, Joshua replaces him as the Israelites leader.

    I don’t intend to dwell on (in) the Historical Books, so a book a day, so we should cover the Historical Books (12 in total) in about 2 weeks. There’s no ‘laws’ here to dwell on, no great events and the likes, no scenes from like a hollywood epic, in fact the Historical Books have very little real relevance today, there’s very little individual lines of scripture you can pull out of the Historical Books and apply them today. Time period for the twelve (Historical) books about 1,000 years (until approx. 500BC), ‘the Torah’ (five books) we’ve just covered covers a period of 2,500 years until approx. 1,500BC, remember according to the Bible the earth was effectively established in approx. 4,000BC (whatever you do, don’t mention the dinosaurs!), so we can crack on through the history books at speed……..

    And that’s a little (actually quite a big) recap….



    Tomorrow………………Joshua (first book of the Historical books)
     
  10. Fanny Magnet
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    Fanny Magnet Sex God!

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    Right the book of Joshua…..

    The name comes about because Joshua is (now) the leader of the Israelites, Moses dies in Deuteronomy, the baton is passed. Interesting point, Joshua’s life mimics Moses’s life in some ways, Joshua is approx.. 80 years old when he takes over the leadership of the Israelites, dies at 120 years old. Moses was approx.. 80 years old when he led the Israelites out of Egypt, spent effectively 40 years in the desert (in Numbers), he too died at approx.. 120 years old. So the events in Joshua (80 years old when made leader, 120 years old when he died), cover approx.. 40 years. Joshua also means ‘Yahweh (God) saves’.

    Events start on the plains of Moab (very East of the wasteland and desert of Egypt (tribal country)), with Israel (Canaan) just over the River Jordan.

    Joshua sends spies into Israel (Canaan), addresses his people, says right guys whip your Playstation Vitas out, you’ve got no military training, load up Sid Meiers Revolution 2, because the events that are about to occur (and for next 1000 years in some respects) are going to be a bit like the early stages of Sid Meiers Revolution 2. So the Israelites whip their Playstation Vitas out (it just so happens the plains of Moab have electricity points dotted around, they haven’t been playing the Vita for 40 years because they’ve been in the desert and the battery has gone on their Vitas) and prepare to invade Canaan (Israel).

    The Israelites cross (part) the River Jordan through the miraculous intervention of God and the Ark of the Covenant (don’t forget the Ark of covenant leads the way when the Israelites are travelling) and are circumcised at Gibeath-Haaraloth (translated as hill of foreskins). ‘Hang on a second’ said the Israelites say, this never happened in Sid Meiers Revolution 2, shouldn’t we be building a catapult or something about now?. ‘No’, said Joshua, you’re going to get circumcised. They then celebrate the Passover in their (home) land (to celebrate Moses leading the Israelites out the Egypt enslavery). Then move forward (into battle).

    The spies who (initially) enter Canaan (as ordered by Joshua), have better luck than the spies who entered from Paran (in the book of Numbers as ordered by Moses), they start to convert the Canaanites to following the God of Israel. There’s no coming back by the spies and putting the willies up the Israelites (like in Numbers).

    Battles break out as the Israelites invade Canaan……….

    There are two main battles, one against Jericho and one against Ai…………….

    In Jericho (a walled city), it’s a walk in the park for the Israelites, to cut a long story short the Israelites parade around the (walled) city with the Ark of the Covenant (which initially had the Ten Commandments brought down from Mount Sinai in Exodus), on the seventh day trumpets sound, the walls of Jericho crumble (come falling down) and Israelites take the City. God is with them.

    In Ai, things don’t go so well, there is an Israelite called Achan who commits a Sin (pillages Jericho), so when the Israelites go into battle in Ai, God is not with them, he’s pissed!, they lose the battle against Ai, it’s only when the Israelites repent (and I’ve covered repentance in isolation) and deal with Haan’s sin, is God (then) with them and a second battle against Ai is won!.

    The moral of the story (the two main battles against Jericho and Ai), is that it is only when God is with them and the Israelites please God, will they win their oncoming battles to take (back) Israel. This is God’s war in some respects and the Canaanites were up to all sorts (including child sacrifice), before the Israelites had entered Canaan (Israel) the Canaanites were wealthy, but morally corrupt.

    There are then a number of smaller battles (some to the South, some to the North), for a number of years, in which God intervenes, God stops the sun and moon in one battle, the Israelites go on to win these battles (by a landslide).

    Once Israel (the promised land) is won (back), the land is then divided (by Joshua) amongst the twelve tribes of Israel (so each of the twelve tribes take up a region). This is the fulfilment of God’s promise to Abraham (later the Jacob), that the people of Abraham (then Jacob) will occupy the promised land. Remember the twelve tribes of Israel back in Genesis were initially the twelve sons of Jacob and their descendants and initially populated Israel before 400 years in Egypt (initially flourishing then enslaved), then say 40 years wandering the desert and wastelands to the East of Egypt as they exited Egypt to flee enslavery to go back to the promised land.

    At the end of Joshua, just before death, Joshua addresses his people, in the same was Moses addresses his people at the end Deuteronomy. Effectively Joshua, repeats in some respects the words of Moses at the end of Deuteronomy. Joshua reminds them of Gods generosity (he has brought them back into the promised land) but warns them that if they disobey God they will incur his wrath. Joshua then dies aged 120 years, again the timeline for Joshua is about 40 years, as Joshua is at the of Deuteronomy takes over leadership of the Israelites about 80 years old, so to invade Canaan and win the many battles then establish the twelve tribes of Israel in the land takes about 40 years.

    That’s it for the Book of Joshua….

    Scripture of the day……..

    Joshua 1:5 ‘No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I (God) was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you, nor forsake you.’



    Tomorrow………………Judges
     
  11. Fanny Magnet
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    The book of Judges………..

    Let’s set the scene, Israel (formally Canaan), has been split up by Joshua into regions occupied by the twelve tribes of Israel (the descendants of the twelve sons of Jacob), the regions are largely self-governing, don’t forget Joshua (the Israelites leader after Moses) dies at the end of well Joshua.

    Following the invasion (by the Israelites in Joshua) and the war with the Canaanites (again in Joshua), these regions still have Canaanite influence. Following the war with the Canaanites a large number of Canaanites were driven out of Canaan (now Israel), but still a number remain, so in the twelve regions, some towns are still Canaanite and remember the Canaanites are largely morally corrupt.

    So in Israel after say 40 years (Joshua) of invasion and establishment of the twelve tribes in the twelve regions, the regions established are a mixture of God’s people (Israelites) and remaining morally corrupt Canaanites.

    Well things don’t ‘gel’ do they?.........

    What happens is that the Israelites fall into the Canaanites ‘bad’ morally corrupt ways (sin).

    In addition Israel’s borders aren’t established and defended, well there are invasions from the likes of the Ammonites, Midianites, Philistines and the likes who (once invade) the Israelites turn to and (again) sin (some people refer to these groups as the Canaanites because the Canaanites are themselves a sort of tribal group of people) I’ll call the Canaanites present in Israel the Canaanites, those who invade, the Ammonites, the Midianites, the Philistines (sometimes also termed the Canaanites), the invaders.

    Effectively there are repeated ‘cycles’ in the book of Judges, the ‘cycles’ go like this…….

    The Israelites would become sinful and fall into Canaanites (or invaders) ‘bad’ morally corrupt ways (sin) and God would let the Canaanites (invaders) dominate (conquer) the Israelites (wash his hands of them), the Israelites would then repent, God seeing the repentance would raise up a Judge to release the Israelites from the dominant rule of the Canaanites (invaders), this would happen, but then the Israelites would (again) fall into Canaanites (invaders) ‘bad’ morally corrupt ways (sin) and God would (again) let the Canaanites (invaders) dominate (conquer) the Israelites, the Israelites would then (again) repent, God seeing the repentance would (again) raise up a Judge to release the Israelites from the dominate rule of the Canaanites (invaders) and so on and so forth…..

    In fact, the ‘cycles’ (above) goes for twelve Judges (so twelve Judges are appointed (by God) to break the ‘cycles’ but each would fail), the Bible talks about the six main Judges, I won’t go into detail except for one, Samson, so the ‘cycles’ repeats twelve times, over a number of years and as we progress through the ‘cycles’ things go from bad to worse, things just spiral down and down and down in terms of the sin that being committed in each ‘cycles’. Each Judge who is appointed (by God) is in many ways worse than the last.

    The last appointed Judge was Samson (probably the worst judge), you probably know Samson from the story of Samson and Delilah (Delilah cut his hair and took all his strength), stronger than an ox (when he had his hair) but not the sharpest tool in the Israelites shed. Well Samson won victories against the Philistines (invaders), but he also shagged prostitutes and was involved in murder.

    Things spiral to such a point the people of Israel forget their own God, there is false idol worshipping, murder, shagging about and all sorts of things are kicking off. It gets to such a point you can’t even tell the Canaanites (or invaders) and the Israelites apart at the end of the twelve ‘cycles’ anymore. These cycles in total last about 300 years (around 25 years each ‘cycle’), although many scholars believe some of the Judges ruled simultaneously in the various (twelve) regions, so the cycle(s) is(are) sometimes concurrent, in the various regions.

    At the end of Judges (after Samson), its gets so bad, there is effective civil war in Israel (or at least the largest part, don’t forget Israel around this time is regionalised) ……

    Well God has to deliver his people again, because they are (now) no better than the Canaanites (and invaders), possibly worst, who were morally corrupt when the Israelites invaded Canaan (Israel). This was not God’s design for Israel, so he has to intervene.

    The moral of the story, Israel needs a king, people did what was right in their own eyes, despite repeated intervention by God (through the appointment of Judges). Israel eventually get there king in the Book of Samuel (but before that the book of Ruth). But in the end it won’t (ultimately) help the national morale or morality.

    Scripture of the day…..

    Judges 1:4 ‘When Judah attacked, the Lord gave the Canaanites and Perizzites into their hands, and they struck down ten thousand men at Bezek.’



    Next………….Ruth
     
  12. Terramax
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    What...on....earth....is....going....on....here...?
     
  13. Fanny Magnet
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    That summarises the thread nicely...
     

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